Today was my last final. I'm free from class for about a month. I promised God I would spend more time with him. I approached it with the wrong attitude. Its something I feel I have to do and everything inside of me is fighting against it. Lately I've realized I don't love God. Don't misunderstand me, I'm not saying I hate him or anything of the sort. I've known it has been this way for some time but I wouldn't have admitted it to anyone. Then after listening to some preaching one thing said don't spend time with Jesus because you have to, out of a feeling of duty, do it out of love. If you don't love Christ ask him to do whatever it takes for you to realize how perfect and wonderful he is so that you can love him. Thats where I'm at today. I've loved Jesus before but I let the fire die. I let all the outside circumstances kill my relationship with Christ.
So right now I am getting back on the horse so to speak. I've known that he has remained with me. I just forgot how to be with him. He is trying to speak and I'm straining to listen.
Prayers needed,
Kristi
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